They call them "models". I mean, any clothes they might be wearing are taken off rather quickly, and I can always see a properly shown brand name on the underwear, usually one of the "gay brands" that always has banner ads on those sites that sell the videos.
I could say that I'm just cheap, but any guy who who feels control of his libido slipping away from him will usually find some way to find something new no matter how much of his grocery budget he has to shave. I remember when I'd buy those 1-day passes to those webcam sites and see that the "live hot guys ready to bare it all for you" were just a series of empty chairs with folded paper signs reading "BACK IN 15 MINUTES". Other sites would just be badly streamed copies of videos I could just buy cheap if I knew the right neighborhoods.
I could say that the plot is bad, that the writing was lame, but most videos that I bought with the "models" just showed two guys that were practically airbrushed, completely smooth and toned, both of them looking they were barely into their twenties and with play around with each other for 45 minutes while generally looking bored, and every now and then a "special guest" would join in. They would do it on the floor, or a couch, the setting looking like some nice apartment I'd never live in. Who does 45 minutes of foreplay? Honestly? This is sex that I can never have. I'll never have that kind of endurance, do it in that kind of a position, or be endowed that well. Hell, I don't even think that the "models" really have sex like that when they go home to their girlfriends or boyfriends.
So, I watch amateur stuff. I prefer bears, honestly. They're real people, in my eyes, having sex that I could actually have, and have actually had. They grunt and moan and ask the other to move his leg and shift positions because knees are getting tired, backs are getting sore, the sounds coming from them sometimes unintelligible, and the breathing sometimes labored, but you can see that they enjoy it. And that enjoyment is infectious for me.
I guess one of the reasons I'm always so nervous about writing sex scenes is because I feel like I'm lying. Well, obviously, I'm lying. I'm writing fiction after all. But I feel like I'm feeding into this preconception about what gay sex has to be like, or at least taking my cues from it because I know it'll sell better that way. The first time I was with a guy, and I lost the "backdoor virginity" as it were, it hurt. It stung. It was not a mind-shattering eruption of ecstasy. I bled afterward. And yes, I was prepped first beforehand for about 10 minutes. And the guy wasn't that big. The first time I went down on a guy I didn't get him off, in fact, I was practically in tears afterward because of how sore my jaw was.
And I haven't gotten much better.
But I don't write non-fiction. When readers want realism in their fiction, they mean character and setting and interpersonal dynamics. When it comes to sex we all for the most part prefer the fantasy.
But that doesn't make me feel any less a liar.

So today I'm working. Really. Got a long playlist of Pearl Jam and I'm looking to push Richard past 67k. I'm finally feeling recovered from the stomach bug and I'll be venturing once more into the breach when I sub tomorrow (they actually called me Friday night, and when I told them I'd probably be good for Monday, I was told that I'm "fabulous", and "our go-to guy", which is f-ing awesome).

In the meantime, I've been plowing through episodes of 30 Rock, Bones, How I Met Your Mother, and I'm getting the housemate exposed to Spaced because it is a great show. (Ye gods, I love Netflix.)

Also, I've been burying myself in my b-day gifts, namely Fallout 3, Borderlands, and Dragon Age: Origins. I love the Bioware games, especially the recent ones where you can, in fact, have a gay romance if you want to pursue it. And thanks to having a job that's starting to pay decently, I've been eating like a human being, bills are paid, I'm even setting aside cash to be able to buy Xmas/Yule gifts for my friends and family for the first time in... 5 years?

Also, I'm past 100 logged teaching hours, so yay me, and I'll be updating my C.V. with that when I send it back out to the local colleges. (By the way, I am curious about something. I know a resume is called a C.V. in the UK, but an academic resume is called a C.V. in the US, as opposed to a resume. Is an academic resume called something different in the UK, or is it a C.V. still? Just curious. :) Granted, there's a trend toward just calling it a Vita here...)

Welcome back to Free Fiction Friday!

Sorry that this wasn't a 12:01 even though it's been done all week. Been rather sick for the last few days (I had to watch over the In-School Suspension kids this week, meaning I was stuck in a very small room with bad ventilation for several kids who were obviously sick), so I've been pretty wiped out.

Those of you who visited the TQ Social on my b-day have already read this, but I wanted to post it here to make officially part of FFF.

If you're new to Free Fiction Friday, you're kind of in luck, since this is the first installment of Chuck the incubus's story. However, there are two other stories for you to read if you're interested, namely "The Line of the Hunt" and "Dead In The Water", which you can read by clicking on the "Free Fiction Fridays" tag.

Anyway, here's the opening, I hope you enjoy it.

( Let The River Run - Part 1 )

As I've mentioned, today's my b-day. So as a result, one of my friends always makes a point of making sure I hear a certain birthday song that is, arguably, the most metal b-day song ever.





\m/^_^\m/

I'm over at the torquere_social today, so please make sure to stop by! :)

Holy Crap! Fred made it to Phase 3!!!!

http://elisa-rolle.livejournal.com/849846.html

Big 'grats going out to fellow TQ author id_locke as well for Blind Desire!

Thank you all for your support and votes!

Looks like I'm not getting called in today, which means writing time!

Got House of Stone past 65k last night, I think I'm about 10k out from the end.

In other news, check out the new icon! \m/^_^\m/

Housemate: "So uh, what'd you think of her?"

Me: "Your date? She was nice. Decent looking, good sense of humor, good conversationalist with a high threshold for 'deviant topics'."

Housemate: "Kinda miss her already."

Me: "Well yeah, the date went well. You said there was other news though?"

Housemate: "Yeah uh... She just texted me to tell me that her family's coming down with H1N1, and we kind of might have been exposed while she was here."

Me: "..."

And so begins the three-day self-quarantine, missing out on work and the like, suspecting every yawn, cough, and sneeze. I love the guy like a brother, but if I end up having the cancel the first date I've had in over a year because of this I'll probably kick his ass.

Ahhh, Lipton Energize Tea, tonight I celebrate my love for you. :)

Caffeine, ginseng, and it tastes kinda like blueberries.

Working on Richard tonight. Got him to 64k last night, going to push for 65k tonight.

Still not going into details about my date later this week. Said information requires a Fag Hag Security Clearance Level of at least 8.

I honestly don't know how I did this.

I felt like crap today, and it was like my mind came together in a moment of perfect clarity, and suddenly the entire story laid itself out before me, and I laid down about 4500 words in about three hours. I know for a fact I'll never be able to do that again.

Regardless, welcome to the conclusion of "Dead In The Water"! It's an extra long section this week, mostly so you guys wouldn't be stuck waiting for an epilogue. :) This won't be the final story for James by far, but I certainly hope you've enjoyed going on this adventure with him. If you'd like to read an already completed story starring James, please check out my blog for information on Lightning Rod.

I'll probably be taking next week off to work on Richard and Chuck, but if Chuck's story comes quickly, I might have a post for you guys. I wouldn't count on it thought, as I'll also be gearing up for my TQ social day on the 1st, which also happens to be my b-day. that_guy_media and I have considered doing a special episode of Reader Mail mondays where we'll take questions from the Social crowd that days, with the questions being read aloud by an Official British Person for the broadcast. If you're interested, stay tuned for more details.

If this is your first visit to Free Fiction Fridays, then you're in for a treat! No cliffhangers or waiting, it's all right here! Just click on the "free fiction fridays" tag below to read both FFF pieces, "The Line Of The Hunt" and "Dead In The Water".

Also, please check out fellow Free Fictioneer, id_locke and her continuing novel she's posting online!

Without further ado, please enjoy the conclusion of "Dead In The Water"!

( Dead In The Water - Part 15 )

And that's it. I'm going to bed. :)

Yesterday was not the greatest of days, which is kinda funny considering I had the Holy Grail of Substituting Experiences: Video Day.

Remember how great it was when the sub pulled out the TV or the film projector? Imagine how the sub felt. No work? Just sit here and take attendance and get a full day's pay? Rock the fuck on.

And then when I get home I find I pretty much worked for free because of stupid banking polices. Grumble, grumble, grumble.

And this morning? Sick. Like... ugh-sick. Picked up a stomach bug from one of the unwashed masses yesterday, which sucks, because I could've subbed again today. I've been told I'll probably (80% certainty) be called in on Monday.

Free Fiction Friday? I'm going to bust my ass today, but if I don't make it by 12:01, it'll definitely be up tomorrow before the 9pm deadline. I'm supposed to be ending the story this week, and I can hardly keep you guys hanging for 7 more days.

Besides, once I finish "Dead In The Water" I'll be taking a week off from FFF to start plotwork on the next story, and do some serious work on House of Stone.

Oh, and I'm not going into any details, but I have a date next week. :)

Got called in to sub today.

Groggy.

Just ten more minutes, Mom. I don't wanna go to school...

Been considering picking up the currently available stories of the City but were waiting for a sale?

Your time has come!

From now until midnight on Sunday, all purchases made at Torquere Press will be 15% off if you use the promotional code "scary09"!

Just go to http://www.torquerepress.com

Of course, if you already know you've like to spend your weekend clubbing with satyr paladins, or watching Scooby Doo with vampires, just click on the links to my e-books here...

http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=index&manufacturers_id=253

If you want a scary story, well... I could tell you how much college cost me... *rimshot*

In other news, the vote is still going on over at Elisa Rolle's journal! The Vampire Fred: Wicked Game made it to phase two! Let's see if we can vote him into Phase Three! :)

Vote here: http://elisa-rolle.livejournal.com/822605.html (Fred is in group 4)

Also, we're going to try to shoot a Reader Mail Monday episode tomorrow night, so if you've got any questions at all, feel free to send them in to vaughndemont@yahoo.com, or just leave a comment!

http://elisa-rolle.livejournal.com/822605.html

Go here and vote! Fred's in group 4! :)

I know I have a slim chance of winning, I'm up against Notturno, for gods' sake, along with tons of other talented writers, but who knows, maybe there's a "Notable New Author" award or something? :) Anyway, get those votes in!

Welcome to this week's edition of Free Fiction Friday!

I'm honestly surprised I was as productive as I was this week, considering I've been subbing the last three days. I pretty much made myself sit at the computer when I'd get home and not get up until the work for the day was done. I hope it came across alright.

This week's edition is a little longer than normal, and next week's will be quite long as well, as it'll be the final chapter of "Dead In The Water". After it's all wrapped up I might take a week off to brainstorm for the next story, which will star Chuck the Incubus, but I don't know yet. I think Chuck's been itching to have his story told. Depends on how the words flow.

As of this posting, I only have one confirmed Free Fictioneer for this week, id_locke, but there's a chance that another author is starting up this week. If he's ready, I'll update the entry with a link.

I'm also pleased to announce that I'm trying to finagle authors A.M. Jacobs and Cassandra Gold (vocalist for The Fine Erotica Wordsmiths, I might add ;) ) into joining the Free Fictioneers, and they have shown a bit of interest. Are you at all interested in joining up? Can you post at least 1,000 words a week of new fiction for free on your blog? Doesn't have to be erotica, or gay, or sci-fi fantasy, can be whatever you want as long as it's fiction, free, and not illegal to post. :) I think Free Fiction Friday is developing into a great way to get introduced to new writers, new styles, and I've made a lot of new friends doing it too. If you want to join up, or just want more information, drop me a message either on LJ, e-mail me at vaughndemont at yahoo dot com, or just leave it in the comments.

As always, if this is your first visit to Free Fiction Friday, you can get caught up by clicking the "free fiction fridays" tag, and reading all of the entries.

Without further ado, please enjoy this week's edition of Free Fiction Friday!

( Dead In The Water - Part 15 - SFW )

And that's it. I'm going to bed. :)

Lightning Rod has been queried to Blind Eye Books. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

House of Stone currently stands at 60,207 words.

And with that, I'm going to bed.

Who am I to argue?

http://bookworld.editme.com/vaughndemont

Finally got around to setting up my GLBT Bookshelf page. :) Thanks going out to ebooklover33 and cassandra_gold for helping me figure the thing out at first. :)

Going to make House of Stone clear 60k tonight if it kills me. Hopefully it won't. My fan will be heartbroken. :)

I realize I promised this post last week, as a few of you were wondering how the subbing gig went.

I stand by my original statement: I want to find every sub I had in high school and apologize to them for probably being a dipshit.

It's not really THAT bad, considering mostly I was just watching over busywork and babysitting study halls. I was given some cardinal rules, though.

1. They can smell fear.
2. For even inch given, they will take a mile.
3. Be firm, know when and how to say no.
4. The lesson plan is gospel.
5. Take attendance before you do anything.
6. Don't lay a hand on them, don't even touch them, don't mock or ridicule them no matter how much they might have it coming.

A few of the teachers there told me that it's an emotionally exhausting job, even if you're not teaching, mostly because you have to be in a state of constant vigilance and concentration. Kinda like being a prison guard, only without the bars and ability to physically discipline. I think this is an accurate descriptor. I was only there 6 hours and I felt like I wanted to sleep for a week afterward.

Rule #6 came up quite a bit though, the mocking part for all of it. I was able to keep a customer service smile going, though, and just file away the comments I so wanted to make.

What happened:
Idiot Jock: Hey guys! Guess what!
Girl: What?
Idiot Jock: *farts loudly* Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!
*Repeated about five more times, each time the jock finding it funnier*

What I wanted to say:
Idiot Jock: *for the fifth time* Hey guys! Guess what?
Me: I would guess your diaper needs changing.

What happened:
Girl: Yeah, he's got some DVDs in his locker, I guess.
Guy: That's so gay.
Girl: What?
Other Guy: Yeah, probably got some faggot pornos in there.
Me: Settle it down guys, this is supposed to be a quiet study hall.

What I wanted to say:
Girl: Yeah, he's got some DVDs in his locker, I guess.
Guy: That's so gay.
Girl: What?
Other Guy: Yeah, probably got some faggot pornos in there.
Me: Well, if he does, then judging from marketing trends he probably got them from your Mom.

There's a few more of these, but it's been a week, so I can't really remember them all. The important thing is that I got through the day with a smile and celebrated with the Dollar Menu that night on the way home.

Also, more than likely I'll write a City story at some point where the main character is a substitute teacher. :)

Welcome back to Free Fiction Friday!

Sorry about the week's hiatus, but I really needed the recharge. Here's hoping that this week's chapter was worth the wait. :) The story's moving right along now, and I suspect that this novella has about 2 more parts left in it, maybe three.

As always, please check out fellow Free Fictioneer id_locke as well, as she's got a serialized novel going for the next twenty weeks or so. :) I'm also pleased to announce that I have confirmed a third author for Free Fiction Fridays, who will be beginning his story next week. I'll have a link for you when it's live. :)

Also, once there's enough authors involved in the project here, would you guys be open to joining a Free Fiction Friday community? I figure it'd be a nice way to have everything in one place, save a little time for the readers so they don't have to go digging through f-lists. :) Drop a comment or a private message if you're interested.

And again, as always, if this is your first visit to Free Fiction Fridays, just click on the "free fiction fridays" tag below to help you get caught up. :)

Without further ado, please enjoy this week's edition of Free Fiction Friday!

( Dead In The Water - Part 13 )

And that's it. I'm going to bed. :)